My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

Shi Nian blinked, bewildered. She…Did she really call him \'General\' that much? To the point he remembered it every time she did? "I—" Her tongue tied up, heartbeat quickening under his intense stare. Shi Nian looked at those eyes which held the same depth and luminance as General Jiang.

This was General Jiang whom she admired. But this was also the Jiang Jinyan she loved.

She suddenly smiled and asked in a light tone, "Do you believe in the circle of life and death?"

Jiang Jinyan was taken aback by her unexpected question, he didn\'t know why he pondered seriously about it either. "Do you mean…reincarnation?"

Shi Nian nodded. "Humans die and then go through reincarnation, over and over again. It\'s a cycle of renewal, as long as our soul is still alive, even if our body goes through eternal death, one day, we will be reborn."

Her airy and soft voice floated along with the wind, carrying with it the wet and cool fragrance of grass. With each of her words, Jiang Jinyan\'s heart stirred for some reason. He had that kind of deja vu again, as if they had stood together like this before, engaging in the same kind of conversation. 

The feeling was so subtle and fleeting that before he could grasp it clearly, it had slipped through his mind and vanished without a trace.

Seeing Jiang Jinyan\'s rare blank look, Shi Nian chuckled. "Someone said that to me, and I believe it. Do you?"

He snapped out of his thoughts and nodded, still with his mind on her sentence. "I…guess I do." Then, realizing how the topic had strayed, he turned his eyes toward her, narrowing slightly. "What does it have to do with my question?"

"It\'s a secret!" Shi Nian laughed cheekily, the streetlamp casted a dim, gentle light on her features, making it as if she was surrounded in a halo. "I will wait for you."

Jiang Jinyan\'s heart skipped a beat and he couldn\'t look away from her. His throat parched up all of a sudden, even his voice came out dry. "…What do you mean?"

But the girl only gave him a bright smile, more blinding than every smile he had ever seen before. "Everything. I will wait for you for everything. Mr. Jiang Jinyan," She squeezed his pinky finger and even though a smile still graced her lips, her eyes were uncharacteristically solemn, as if she was swearing an oath. "You don\'t know how long I have been waiting for this day...for you...." Her words ended into a heartfelt whisper and Jiang Jinyan felt it seeping and searing into his heart.

He looked away on one rare occasion, unable to bear the intensity within those golden eyes. "You…" It was as if a small burden had been lifted off his shoulder, making him feel lighter and…happier. His lips curled up without him knowing. "You don\'t have to be so formal to me everytime."

Shi Nian blinked. "It\'s a habit." Before the man could comprehend her sentence, she continued, "Then…I can call you by your name?"

Jiang Jinyan didn\'t know whether he should laugh or cry. Sometimes, he felt the girl was putting him on too high of a pedestal. It always made him scared that one day, she would wake up and discover that there\'s nothing special about him. "Of course."

He could never have guessed how much those two words meant to her. Shi Nian\'s nose turned sour and she had to blink her eyes a few times so as to not bawl her eyes out in a spur of the moment. "Jiang Jinyan..."

She had called his name so many times in her heart before. Secretly. Discreetly. Like a treasure that she couldn\'t even bear to take out to admire. How could this person have given her so much? How happy must he make her feel until he was satisfied? 

She thought that it would be impossible to ever tell him these bubbling, uncontrollable feelings that almost overwhelmed her whole. She was scared that she might scare him away.

"Jiang Jinyan…" She whispered with reddened eyes, yet her smile was dazzlingly bright.

Jiang Jinyan thought nothing of such a simple thing. He couldn\'t understand either why she was getting so emotional. His thumb reached out to graze the bottom of her eyes, gently and softly. "Why are you crying again?"

Shi Nian sniffled. "I am not. It\'s just a bit cold."

"Really?" He didn\'t rebuke her and pulled away his hand whose pinky finger was still in her grab, changing to hold her hand instead. "Then we should hurry home lest you catch a cold."

Shi Nian burst out in a fit of giggles. Warm permeated her heart, flooding her limbs, making it soft and jelly. She let herself be led along as they walked home together. To think that a simple walk in less than ten minutes could be so fulfilling and meaningful. 

It was only Jiang Jinyan who could make her feel like this.

He only let go of her hand when they reached the apartment building. Together, they stepped into the elevator one after another. Only after the door closed did he break the comfortable silence, "You should call me as soon as possible if those people come to find you again."

If he didn\'t bring it up, then Shi Nian might as well forget about those insignificant people. "I know." She nodded obediently, then was reminded of something abruptly. "You have beaten them up before? Is it when you picked me up at school? Your hands were bloodied and bruised all over at that time..."

Jiang Jinyan gave an offhanded reply. "It\'s nothing. They\'re annoying."

"How could it be nothing?!" She huffed. "Today, they were scared by Binchen gege so I think they will not come again anytime soon. But you can\'t fight again." She picked up his hand and brought it in front of her face, scrutinizing it closely. "Your hands were so precious. How can you injure yourself just because of that?"

Jiang Jinyan repeated, incredulous. "Just because of that?" Did she know how dangerous it was? Jiang Jinyan couldn\'t imagine how it would turn out if he wasn\'t there that day. Those gangsters\' build was twice as big as her. How could she win against them?

Not noticing his concern at all, she replied confidently. "Of course, you\'re the most important! Compared to them, un—" Shi Nian tried hard to think of a metaphor to let him understand how precious he was. "You\'re an exotic rose in the greenhouse while they\'re only cow dung!"

Jiang Jinyan\'s brows shot up. The corner of his lips trembled but in the end, he just scoffed softly, amused.

He wondered what Madam Shi ate when she was pregnant with her daughter. Did she consume honey and sugar? Or else, how could her mouth be this sweet?

The elevator stopped on the twentieth floor as it always been when they were together. Even when their houses were only one floor apart, Shi Nian felt very happy because it was as if Jiang Jinyan was sending her home. "Then, I am going…Jiang Jinyan." She giggled bashfully after saying his name.

Jiang Jinyan felt tickled by how easily satisfied he was. "Go on. Don\'t study too late for the exam."

Shi Nian blinked. "You know?"

"How can I not know?" He flicked her forehead. "I am in Sangzhe University, remember? There\'s a huge banner in Sangzhe High to wish the third year students a successful exam everytime I pass by."

"Oh." Shi Nian covered her forehead, her mind went blank for a while. "Then, is there a reward if I do well in the exam?" Shameless Shi Nian, how much more do you want to take after being given an inch? But she couldn\'t help it. Wanting to get closer, wanting to interact, wanting to be with him everyday. What to do? Shi Nian liked this person very, very much.

Mirth flashed through his dark eyes. His hand itched to pat her head and mess it up, but in the end, he held himself back. "Let\'s do it like this. If you do well in the exam, then I will take you out to refresh your mind."

Shi Nian\'s eyes brightened up. "Where are we going?"

"So sure you\'re going to do well?" He mused. "We will go wherever you want to."

Shi Nian liked it the most when he used \'we\' to describe them. "It\'s a promise!" She offered her pinky finger.

Jiang Jinyan\'s lips curled. "En." He said softly, reaching out to intertwine her pinky finger with his. "It\'s a promise."

Only after Shi Nian finished cleaning the house, taking a bath and doing one practice paper did she belatedly realize something crucial.

…Taking her out?

Is-Is it not this a…date?!