Novel Bin Chapter 4 - 2
Chapter 4: Chapter 2
8th of June (Monday)
Of course, some heart-throbbing event of Ayase-san and me going to school together didn\'t happen. Finding out that we both are students at Suisei, she advised against this in order for no weird rumours to spread at school. Naturally, that was an absolutely correct choice. My old man and Akiko-san seemed to be aware of that, and decided against any sudden change of life, like changing our family names. Since that would have invited a misunderstanding, and the paperwork simply being a pain in the ass, I was pretty happy about that. This being the case, Ayase-san and I left the house at different times, heading to school separately.
The world is based upon a competitive society. To survive this harsh competition, one shall not complain nor boast, and show a hundred results.
That is the motto of our school. It states that results are more preferable than efforts, which means that if you can keep up your good grades or show excellent achievements with your club activities, you are allowed to keep a part-time job. Admiring this kind of freedom, I decided to take the entrance exam here at Suisei. It is a fairly high-level school, but I don\'t really have some university in mind, or any goal to achieve. I just want to make it to a relatively good university.
However, that wasn\'t exactly because I wanted to achieve something great, or aimed for something higher, but merely because I used my studies to evade anything problematic in my personal life. As a grade school student, I was told to visit a cram school. That happened before my old man got divorced. The person that was my mother tried raising me into a person who had greater social influence than my father, which is why I was told to visit a famous academic cram school.
—Only for me to feel discouraged during the trial attendance.
Mixed with the other children who were studying like their lives depended on it, I had a lot of trouble dealing with them and my studies, getting to the point where I would break down from the pressure just being forced to deal with them. That\'s the first time I realized in my entire life that I suffered from communication disorder. To counterattack that, I studied desperately, and raised my grades. Now that I am attending this high-level school, my grades are in the upper half, but back in middle school, I was in the top class for sure.
It\'s not that I was aiming higher, I just didn\'t want to attend cram school. Because of these efforts, I could avoid doing so. The only reason I went to work part-time on top of getting good grades is solely to show off to my old man that he didn\'t need to worry about me, as that sounded bothersome to deal with. That\'s why I don\'t even feel like I did anything great, nothing that deserves any respect, as I wasn\'t even working hard towards a goal. That\'s right, my trusted friend Maru Tomokazu was more of that type.
"Yo, Asamura. Morning."
"Maru. Morning practice?"
This happened early in the morning, inside our usual classroom. Homeroom would only begin in ten minutes, and yet Maru already arrived at his seat in front of me. He had a knowledgeable look with his glasses on, wildly trimmed hair, and a well-endowed stomach. At first glance, you could call him a bit of a fatty, but that expression isn\'t exactly correct. When I found out that covering his body wasn\'t actual fat, but muscles, I almost fell off my chair. You really can\'t judge people based on their appearance.
"\'Course. There\'s no day without practice." He said with a sour look.
Maru\'s actually part of the baseball club, and catcher as his figure might suggest. Naturally, he\'s passionate about his club, but even the most passionate people complain about their field sometimes.
"That club is like a black company, right."
"Guaranteed early start and always overtime. Competition, jealousy. Age doesn\'t matter, skill is all that counts. At that point, it\'s already a called game."
"And you lost?"
"Sharp, aye. If you get into the baseball club without pure love for the sport, you\'ll lose. Been used to utter exhaustion even before that, but…Well, I don\'t expect others to understand what I\'m going through."
"Yikes, that sounds impossible to me."
Maru took off his glasses, and brought out a case from his bag. Inside, he had a different pair, which he put on. One pair is sports-use, the other for his studies. It\'s like he\'s switching his equipment in an RPG. They apparently were damaged during practice before, so he started using two pairs respectively.
"That\'s how it is. How\'s your new life coming along?" Maru didn\'t even hesitate to switch the topic.
Of course I\'d tell my trusted friend about my father\'s remarriage, and that I got a new family. Honestly speaking, I barely got any friends at school. After going through that hell of an academic cram school, my first-meeting communication hit rock bottom after all.
But, as for Maru Tomokazu, he\'s always been sitting close to me in class, and our interests in manga and anime lined up pretty well, so we just naturally became friends. You might think of it as being weird that he\'s in a sports club and yet otaku at the same time. Apparently, he got hooked on a popular baseball manga,and wanted to try it himself, which makes me lean towards him being an otaku. I mean, there\'s those otakus who are influenced by anime, and start visiting the gym, right?
But of course, the topic at hand was the fact that I got a new family.
"How, huh…Saying it in one sentence…It\'s different from what I imagined."
"You got a little sister, right? You bastard of an Onii-chan."
"Don\'t use that as an insult…And, even if you call it a little sister…"
"Can\'t get excited because you ain\'t blood related?"
"I\'m not even seeing her as a little sister or step-sister to begin with." I said and remembered Ayase-san\'s face. "Rather than a little sister, she feels more like a \'Woman\'."
"That\'s one lewd way to say it."
"That\'s the only way to say it. I honestly don\'t have any idea on how to approach her."
"Hmmm, I see. A \'Woman\', is it. I guess recent grade school gals are on a different level."
"Grade school gals? What are you on about?"
"We\'re talking about your little sister, right?" Maru blinked in confusion.
I should be the one confused, hey…Oh, wait a second. I only heard that she was a grade schooler or middle-schooler, since that\'s what it looked like in the picture my old man showed me. Never corrected Maru since.
"No, that little sister is—" I spoke that far, only to stop myself.
She\'s not in grade school, but actually in high school like me, not to mention attending this very school, and in the same school year. I don\'t know in what class she\'s in, but she\'s a beautiful girl—Saying that would only tickle that guy\'s curiosity, and the catastrophe would be preprogrammed. It\'s not that I don\'t believe him to be trustworthy either, I just can\'t break my promise towards Ayase-san. I am a man who doesn\'t blabber unnecessarily.
"Your little sister is…what?"
"My little sister is…different from what I imagined. Not like what I know from any 2D media."
"Well, duh. You finally unable to separate reality from 2D now?"
"What do you mean \'finally\'? That makes it sound like I was always close to losing myself like that, so can you not?"
"It\'s the truth, right?"
"Doesn\'t mean you can just say whatever you want, alright."
"Well, that\'s my character."
Oh I know. I\'ve known Maru for at least more than a year now, so I\'m well aware that his tongue is as sharp as a knife, swinging around relentlessly, and often aimlessly.
"Anyway, I\'m not as excited as you think I\'d be. If anything, it\'s pretty exhausting, and hard to figure out what sense of distance to keep."
"Figured as much."
"Anyway, change of topic—Do you know a student called Ayase Saki?"
"Mm?? I mean, heard of her, but where did that come from?" Of course, since that came out of nowhere, Maru narrowed his eyes.
The network of information in sports clubs is more wide than you could imagine. When talking about girls—especially someone on the level of beauty that Ayase-san has, she\'d surely be a spicy topic. Since I\'m not interested in rumours and all that, I never put much thought into it, but before, Maru told me stories and rumours of girls I didn\'t even know existed, so I figured it might be worth a try.
"Ayase, huh? Hmm…Why her of all peeps?"
"Well, you know, I just…She\'s a beauty, right?"
"Better not."
"Eh?"
"As your friend, I\'m telling you that you\'re wasting time and energy."
"Wait a second. What are you on about?"
"It\'s not in my interest to stand in someone else\'s path of love, but…"
"I don\'t remember asking you for love advice."
I didn\'t know why he would even come up with that, so I quickly interrupted him.
"I was wrong? I figured you\'d gotten the hots for Ayase or something."
"Are you crazy? There\'s no way some beauty like Ayase-san would give a boy like me a glance, less a chance."
She\'s a girl as attractive as a hand-crafted doll, with alluring blonde hair, and I\'m the type of boy who gazes at himself in the mirror to realize yet again how boring he looks. Seriously, who\'d even think of that? I sighed in disbelief. As I did, Maru gave me a look like he had something to complain about.
"No, it\'s the opposite. If you started dating Ayase, your own value would drop."
"…Haha, good joke."
"Ain\'t joking."
"Then what are you on about? There\'s gotta be a limit on how far you can take this overvaluing."
"I mean, I agree that she\'s got the style…But, there\'s also some rumours going around, see." He said it with a sour face. "I\'m not really a fan of talking behind people\'s backs, but things are different if my trusted friend might be aiming for her. Ignorance is bliss as they say, but I can\'t stay ignorant now."
"Can you tell me more about that rumour?"
Of course, I didn\'t fall for Ayase-san by any means, but explaining anything regarding that would force me to reveal the fact that we\'re actually step-siblings now. Since that\'d be even more annoying, I just let him keep the misunderstanding, and heard him out. Maru quickly observed his surroundings, and brought his face closer to me as he whispered.
"Ayase, you know…Apparently, she\'s…doing that…\'Prostitution\'."
"...Huh?"
"Blonde hair, piercings, always in an angry mood, not letting any people approach her. She\'s probably the gal of this high-level school that stands out the most, especially with her frivolous atmosphere. There\'s even eye-witnesses that saw her come out of some suspicious buildings in Shibuya, or hotels nearby."
"Huh, I never knew." Not denying or accepting it, I only nodded along.
I can see why that kind of stereotype would be associated with her, just looking at her outer appearance. For the few times I talked with her, she didn\'t give off the impression of a person who would do such a thing, but I clearly don\'t know her well enough to firmly deny that rumour.
"I gotta say, it\'s pretty rare for you to believe in eye-witnesses like that, Maru. You\'re normally the one who doubts these sorts of rumours first."
"There\'s a fellow in the baseball club who confessed to her."
"Eh. Even though everyone is avoiding her?"
"I mean, rumours are rumours, but looks are looks. She\'s pretty popular. Though it\'s beyond me."
"I see."
"And, he was told from the person herself."
"…Excuse me?"
"\'I\'m exactly what the rumours are telling you. I don\'t intend on going out with anybody\', she said." Maru tried to copy her way of speaking, as he explained to me.
It was clear that Maru didn\'t have the best impression from Ayase-san.
"What\'s the chances of the club member just making that up?"
"Can\'t say for sure, but probably zero. Also, this ain\'t the first time this happened. Other clubs say something similar."
"So the opinion might be subjective, but the numbers scream objectivity."
"Pretty much."
There\'s no guarantee that what they\'re all saying is the absolute truth, but at the very least, it\'s safe to say that Ayase-san responded like that to the confessions.
"Mmm…Pandora…"
It felt like I opened up Pandora\'s box. First, you should look into the other person—is what it said in \'Science of Man and Woman\', and I figured that would be the best bet to start figuring what level of distance I should have towards Ayase-san, but now I have even more problems to worry about.
Are these rumours true? If they are, do Akiko-san and my old man know about it? In the event that they don\'t, should I be the one to report it?
…No, I shouldn\'t. It\'s not in my interest to believe rumours that have no proof whatsoever. At the same time, even if these rumours were true, I\'m in no position to tell her off. If there\'s actually some paid dating or the like going on, then if the people involved properly pay and supply, it\'s their thing to worry about, and not my problem to worry about people I\'m not familiar with.
Of course, there\'s some annoying side to it now that Ayase-san became my family, but even if these rumours turned out to be true, I never thought of telling her off. More than anything, I\'d just be sad if there was something or someone forcing her.
"So, Asamura, what about your card?"
"…What are you on about?"
"I showed you all my cards. Now show me yours. Why\'d you suddenly bring up that Ayase?"
"Ah, well, I\'ll leave it up to your imagination."
"Huh? Hey now, don\'t leave me hanging like that."
"I\'m not telling you \'cause I don\'t want to. I can\'t. Just please, keep it at that."
"Don\'t you dare think you can just use some manga phrase to get me off your ass…Christ, this is what I get for giving you information." Maru complained, but I just let him vent some steam.
That\'s what\'s great about Maru Tomokazu. He knows exactly when to stop. My eyes drifted away from the back of his head, towards the window glass next to me. My own face, resting on my palm, was reflected in the glass, as my thoughts drifted towards Ayase-san.
I\'m really glad that we aren\'t in the same class. If I was in the same environment as she now, I\'d probably worry to a level where I couldn\'t focus on class. Of course, that\'d happen the second I get home anyway, but I\'d rather delay that for now. I guess that\'s what being human is all about.
—What I wanted to delay happened shortly after. Namely, two hours later. Fate is always cruel, and indifferent. Every single Monday as the third period, we have P.E. class. Of course, the reason only made it worse. During this time period, our Suisei High\'s ball sports festival is running close, so in order to make up for practice time, around the middle of the school year, two classes are mixed together. Of course, this practice happened to start on this very day.
"Here, take this! Secret Hit – Great Ether Serve! Oraaaaa!"
I found myself at the school-intern tennis court. Beneath the ashen sky, someone was screaming a secret technique that could come right out of a manga with a loud and straightforward voice. The owner of that voice was a girl, wearing P.E. clothes, as she was about to swing the racket.
She possessed bright red hair, a rather small stature, making her look like a small hamster. Although she\'s a girl from another class, even I knew her name—Narasaka Maaya. To compliment her, you\'d say she\'s energetic, but on the other hand, she was known as the meddlesome rumoured class representative. Add together her energy that could supply a million energy drinks, and the ability to take care of other people like a grandma, as well as her fairly cute looks, she has friends all over the school, a normie standing atop other normies.
Of course, Narasaka-san is even known in our class, and since she sometimes comes to visit, I couldn\'t just ignore her existence either, no matter how hard I blocked off rumoured people.
Everyone, meaning the audience, onlookers, and even her opponent, they all looked up at the cloudy sky to trace the ball she had thrown, waiting for it to soar down again. One second, two seconds, three seconds passed.
"Hey, what are you doing!? That one flew off elsewhere, you know!?" Narasaka-san\'s opponent, another girl, was flabbergasted at that homerun, as she screamed in disbelief.
"Ahaha, sorry sorry!"
"Really…what kind of crazy serve was that?"
"\'Cause I thought that\'d be cool, heh!"
"Don\'t you \'heh\' me! You damned wench…! There there there there!"
"Noooo~ Don\'t grind my hair like that~"
Narasaksa-san was put in a headlock, the other girl grinding her elbow on her head. Two cute girls playing around like that sure was a sight. As a matter of fact, all the boys in my class were utterly focussed on watching this scene. However, I was different. I didn\'t even give this heavenly scene with two beauties a glance, and had my gaze directed at a single point.
There was a single individual standing in the corner of the tennis court, at a place where she barely stood out, leaning against the metal fence, outside the court. She wasn\'t even holding a tennis racket either, as I could see an earphone cord reaching up to her ears from her jersey\'s pockets. She was merely listening to something, as she gazed up at the emptiness above her—It was none other than Ayase-san.
Never have I seen someone so openly slacking off. Since she didn\'t act like she was doing something bad, I thought for a second that she really belonged there. Nobody else seemed to be bothered either, as neither the students, nor the teacher gave her any attention, let alone warn her.
A high school girl that didn\'t fit in her class, doubted to be doing illicit things. If you took a picture of her, and made this the title, it would sum things up perfectly.
On one side, you had the students gleefully playing tennis, and then there was me, slowly approaching Ayase-san. I sat on the opposite side of the fence, acting like I was taking a break.
"Skipping class?" I called out to her.
Ayase-san removed her earphones with a dubious look, and slightly opened her eyes.
"That surprised me. Why\'re you just talking to me like this?"
"I mean, a familiar face is skipping class, of course I\'d come check."
"Huh, so you\'re here as the lecturing older brother."
"No, not really. I\'m not that good of a person to even have the right to do that. I was just surprised to see you chose tennis as well, Ayase-san."
"Maaya forced me into it. She wanted to try the same thing. Then again, that\'s not the only reason."
"Maaya is referring to Narasaka-san, right? Are you two close?" I looked over at the court, and spotted a red-haired girl chasing after a ball.
She sure stands out alright.
"Sure are. Then again, I don\'t think there\'s any girl who doesn\'t get along with her."
"A hundred friends, as they say, huh."
There\'s roughly 20 girls in one class. Adding all 8 classes together, you get 160. What a fearsome number.
"I don\'t think Maaya has that many friends, at least not those which she can relax around. It\'s like, she can get along with everyone even when they\'re not friends."
"Ah, I feel that." I was satisfied with that explanation.
"Asamura-kun, why did you decide on tennis?"
"Umm, do I really need to tell you? It\'s not something you\'d praise me for."
"It\'s fine, I have another pathetic reason myself."
What is \'fine\' about this? This ain\'t some card game where we try to win against each other in terms of whose reason is more embarrassing. But, since her gaze felt as sharp as an arrow piercing me, I saw no other chance but to explain it to her.
"Because the real deal isn\'t some group match."
Maru participated in soccer, basketball, and other team games. With tennis, there\'s not even doubles, so you only fight on your own.
"I really didn\'t want to play with others, so I chose tennis."
To those people who think \'What is this guy even talking about?\', I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart. Please live on in happiness. For me however, I\'m bad at expecting things from others, and living according to the expectations of others. Just by thinking that I might be pulling the team down, I feel sick. If I could live my life without these agonizing thoughts, how easy everything would be, I sometimes wonder to myself.
"Huh…We really are similar."
That\'s why, since she showed sympathy towards my pathetic words, it became like a confession that she was more of a loner herself.
"Ayase-san as well?"
"Yeah, well. The trigger was Maaya, but I didn\'t want to play in teams anyway. You probably figured it out already, but I\'m keeping my distance from the other girls."
Even though it was something sad and regretful, Ayase-san spoke with her usual dry voice. I figured as much, since nobody gave her any attention, despite skipping classes while listening to music. Is she half transparent or something? For a second, I doubted myself, but I could perfectly make out her body, as even the faint fragrance of perfume drifted towards my nose. Becoming this aware of her, I felt embarrassed, and looked away again.
"Are you not fitting into your class by any chance?"
"Surprised?"
"Well, with a girl as stylish as you, I figured you\'d be the center of class."
"Generally thinking, yeah." Ayase-san nodded. "I\'m different though."
I\'m sure that a big reason for this must be the rumours, leaving aside what exactly they were saying. Most of the people at this school at least were dubious of her because of them.
"That being said, this position isn\'t as bad…I don\'t really care about the ball festival either. Feels like a waste of time. If they don\'t bother with me, I can use the time for myself."
"Listening to music?"
"Eh? …Well, yeah." Ayase-san showed a slightly flustered expression, and looked away.
She\'s hiding something. There\'s clearly another layer to that reaction of hers, but I didn\'t want to be rude and pry too much, so I stayed quiet. The other person will tell you if they feel ready to. Trying to press that moment could just get you hated in the end.
"This time, I\'ll decide it for sure! Certain kill technique! Super Ether Serve!"
"The name didn\'t even change, lol."
I heard Narasaka-san\'s voice again, followed by that other girl\'s retort. How loud are their voices, oi. But, since I was thinking about Narasaka-san again, I turned towards Ayase-san.
"Aren\'t you going to practice with Narasaka-san? I feel like she invited you so that you can play together…or rather, against each other."
"Nah."
"That was fast, alright."
"I\'m not needed after all. Maaya invited me while knowing that I\'d just skip. Then again, this kindness is what makes her this popular, I guess."
Looks, skipping class like this, and her own words, all of these factors only played towards the rumours, and yet the atmosphere she gave off, and how she reacted, it completely dispelled all outside information. Just where or what is Ayase Saki\'s true self? In order to arrive at that answer, I still don\'t know her well enough.
When I came home from school, Akiko-san was just about to leave.
"My, Yuuta-kun."
"Ah…I\'m back."
"Welcome home~ I made you some dinner~"
"Thank you very much…But, that wasn\'t necessary, you\'re about to leave for work, right?"
"That\'s right~ I just moved, but I can\'t relax a bit~" My step-mother put one hand on her cheek, showing a troubled smile.
She wore what looked like expensive clothes, revealing her shoulders, and the scent of perfume coming from her was strong enough to make me feel dizzy. It was like a butterfly spreading its charm for the world to see. If someone told me that she\'d be jumping into the night city from now on, I would believe them instantly.
"Since my old man was always busy with work, I just eat whatever I can find for dinner, so you don\'t need to make food right before work."
"When it was just me and Saki, that was pretty much the norm, but now that we\'ve started living together, I figured I might as well~"
"I wouldn\'t want you to overwork yourself, so please don\'t feel forced."
"Well, I might probably have to rely on your kindness starting tomorrow…Saki can cook as well, so I guess I can leave it to you~"
Hearing these words, I could feel my ears twitch. I imagined the sight of Ayase-san cooking, and instinctively thought that it didn\'t really match her image. And, now that I already thought about her, the rumours popped up in the back of my head. Maybe that\'s why I just happened to blurt out the following words.
"By the way, where might you be working?"
"At the shopping district of Shibuya~"
"…What kind of establishment is it?"
"Ah, did you get some weird ideas just now? Come on~" Akiko-san pouted in a childish way.
Honestly speaking, she was dead-on. I didn\'t plan on saying it, but a slight doubt did appear in my head.
"It\'s just a normal bar, no indecent service whatsoever. Not to mention that I interact with customers across the counter."
"You\'re not dealing with customers directly?"
"In a certain sense, I do. I\'m a bartender after all." Akiko-san showed me a gesture of her shaking a drink.
Even I could tell that she was used to this, so I accepted her words.
"I\'m sorry for getting the wrong idea. It\'s just…"
"It can\'t be helped, it does sound a bit suspicious~ Not to mention all the stereotypes people think of when I mention that I work at night. You\'re a student as well, so it would be a bit troublesome if you knew what kind of establishments the city at night had to offer."
"That is true, yes."
Now that I think about it, there\'s no way my old man would try to win over a woman at some girls bar or host club. He\'s plain, normal, honest, and gullible. He wouldn\'t choose a woman from any shady place. It\'s been ten years since I gained consciousness, and I\'ve continued to watch him, so I can say that with confidence.
"Anyway, I need to get going now, Yuuta-kun. Please do take care of Saki."
"Ah, yes. Take care."
Akiko-san gently waved her hand at me, as she walked down the hallway of the flat. She looked like a butterfly heading towards the night city? NO. She was more like a chihuahua walking around in the high grass at the public park. Yet again, I was shown just how off the mark stereotypes could be, and honestly speaking, often are. I watched Akiko-san disappear into the elevator, and opened the door to my home.
Inside my home—my own room, to be more specific- I should be able to relax and be myself, and yet I can\'t help but tense up a bit. Most likely it\'s because the area beyond the wall turned into someone else\'s territory.
The hallway, the living room, the bathroom, it wasn\'t just a safe space for me and my old man alone anymore. Being conscious of this reality felt like it\'d be bad manners, so I focussed on the reference book on the desk in front of me. Studies are more important after all.
When I looked at the time again, a full hour had passed. What pulled me back to reality was the sound of the entrance opening. Following that, footsteps moved down the hallway, entering the room next to mine.
"Welcome back." I gave a faint greeting, but no response came.
Makes sense, there\'s no way she could have heard me through the wall. Since I didn\'t have any urgent business anyway, I just told myself to forget about it, and turned back towards my desk.
Across the wall, I heard footsteps walking on the floor, as well as the sound of the school bag dropping to the floor. Following that, the closet opened, and I could pick up faint rustling of clothes…
Ah, not good. I shouldn\'t focus on her sounds too much, that\'d be pretty disgusting, right. I complained to myself, and waited for Ayase-san to disappear from my head.
"Asamura-kun, can I come in?" However, right as she did, Ayase-san materialized in front of my room, knocking on my door.
"Ah, sure…"
For a second, I confirmed the inside of the room, and gave permission after seeing nothing dangerous out in the open.
"Excuse me."
"S-So, what is it?"
"Ah, you\'re studying. You\'re working hard, I see. We\'re not even in exam season."
"About as much as any other student, I guess."
I\'m not always at home studying or anything. I do have the routine of reading some manga or playing games in between. But, when I do that, it\'s either in the middle of the room, or on the bed. Since that wasn\'t exactly a sight I wanted others to see, and because I was conscious of Ayase-san on the other side of the wall, I just happened to study.
"Aiming for a good university?"
"I don\'t think people would aim for a bad one."
"Yeah, you\'re studying and working part-time at the same time after all."
"Is that so odd of a thing to do?"
I don\'t think it\'s that rare to see students do that.
"I mean, you invest time to earn money, but you invest time in your studies to achieve greater results. That\'s why, I just thought that doing both at the same time is probably pretty tough."
"You think about some complicated stuff. I never really was that conscious of it." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Hmmm…So, by the way."
It seemed like something hard to say, as she averted her eyes, and played with her long hair strains. Maybe it was because of the light, or a different reason, but her cheeks looked more red than usual. Just because of that conversation just now, I could tell that the rumours about her at school seemed like nonsense. Sector clear, I\'d say.
Ayase-san seemed like she needed a few seconds to mentally prepare, when she spoke up, determination in her eyes.
"You don\'t happen to know of a well-paid short work hours part-time job, do you?"
"Sector not clear!"
"Eh?"
"Ah, no, it\'s nothing…" I regretted retorting mindlessly.
At least it was something vague. If I had screamed \'Prostitution!\', then I would have been done for.
"I want money, but I don\'t feel like wasting too much time. Maybe an hour or two, and get like 10.000 yen for it."
"With a normal job, you probably won\'t get that." I answered calmly.
For now, I decided to keep an iron face, and acted like I didn\'t know about the rumours.
"I see. Guess selling is the only option."
Can you not penetrate my armor right off the bat? We might not be related, but you\'re still my little sister, and I really don\'t want to hear what exactly you\'re selling two days after we\'ve become family.
"If you want to earn money, then sell yourself—that\'s what it said in the book as well."
What kind of book, oi. Why was that book in reach for a high school student anyway? Then again, I saw some books like that at my part-time work as well, so I can\'t exactly complain.
"Um, Ayase-san, me saying this might be bad manners, but…"
"Sure, go ahead. I brought up the question after all."
"I think that you should treasure your own body some more."
"Why\'re you making such a big deal out of it? There\'s other people my age who do it as well."
"Other people don\'t have anything to do with this. What you do yourself is more important."
"I am properly taking care of myself. That\'s why I want to earn lots of money." Facing me, who was trying to convince Ayase-san with an old man\'s logic, she was surprisingly serious.
Paid dating, compensated dating, hidden account girl. I thought that all girls that were involved in something along those lines did it out of boredom or because they could. However, it felt like Ayase-san was clearly intent on doing this, as her words held strength and confidence I hadn\'t seen before.
That being said, no matter how determined she may be, I still can\'t ignore this. Even more so now that she had become my little sister. When I thought of Akiko-san\'s request to take care of Ayase-san, I felt guilty that I wasn\'t pushing harder.
"Can you say the same thing in front of Akiko-san?"
"…I can? If anything, she\'ll probably praise me for becoming an adult."
"That is some cursed direction of education."
"Was it different for your family? I figured your father was happy when you started doing it yourself, Asamura-kun."
"It\'d be one hell of a problem if he was. It\'s true that my old man is a helpless guy most of the time, but if a child of his would be doing that, he\'d definitely be sad. Also…when did it become a premise that I was doing it as well?"
"Eh, didn\'t you go there yesterday? Your part-time job."
"…Part-time job?"
"Yup, part-time job."
An odd silence was born between the two of us. We both apparently tried to figure out when we started talking past each other, tracing that red thread of our conversation, which led this silence to come into existence.
"What did you think I was talking about?" Ayase-san said, as she narrowed her eyes.
"Sex service with a great sum of money involved, or something like that."
"...…Huh?"
Ayase-san\'s voice turned cold like I had never heard before.
"Ahh, I see. So you thought I was into \'Prostitution\'."
"I\'m so sorry! I really am!"
After confirming that we had talked past each other, we realized that we both had gotten hungry, and moved to the dinner table. We found the orthodox food Akiko-san had prepared before she left, namely stir-fried vegetables with miso soup, and warmed this up on our plates. After we both took the first sip of our miso soup, Ayase-san spoke up with these words. Since I didn\'t have any excuses, I could only clap my hands together, and lowered my head. Ayase-san seemed uncomfortable with that, sighing at me.
"Raise your head, will you. I know that this rumour has been going around. When you look like this, people just tend to get the wrong idea. Then again, I\'m partially to blame because I use these rumours to avoid annoying peeps."
"Ayase-san…"
It didn\'t feel like she was acting tough. This indifference probably led to all the misconceptions between her and her peers, and the bad direction the rumours took. But, something doesn\'t add up. She clearly stated that she was aware of how her appearance invites misunderstandings like these. So, why is she still choosing to dress like that?
She must have guessed that I was having doubts like these, as she stopped her hand from carrying some more stirred-up vegetables to her mouth.
"I get what you\'re thinking. Why would I wear these clothes despite being aware of what it did to my image."
"Well, yeah…I was a bit curious about that."
"It\'s my armament mode."
"Eh?"
"Nobody would go on to a battlefield with no weapons and armor, right? This is my armament to survive society." She put one finger on her ear lobe, showing off the radiating ear piercing.
Even for girls with the desire to look stylish, piercing a hole into their ears is a territory not many dare to enter. In middle school, you\'d be seen as a hero by your classmates, and treated like a delinquent by the adults and teachers, it is a mysterious contradiction, really. It\'s metal with the size of a mere millimeter, and yet it holds so much power. In the face of that, the words I muttered were—
"Does it raise your defence? Or is it like a two-hit attack?"
"Pffft…you say some interesting things." She laughed at me.
I mean, my thinking speed couldn\'t keep up, and I just muttered convenient game terms that popped up in the back of my head.
"Well, something like that. The goal is to raise both attack and defence."
"Sounds dangerous. This world we live in is at peace right now, you know."
"Battles are fought nonetheless, just in places where you don\'t see them." Ayase-san sounded like she was a heroine involved in a war going on in the dark side of the world.
From here on out, I was thrown into a superpower battle world, blood being washed with blood—Of course, that didn\'t happen, as I knew that she was just using a rhetorical answer.
\'To Saki and Yuuta-kun. Warm this up, and eat it together.\'
I had previously removed that memo from the plastic film on the stir-fried vegetables, and Ayase-san\'s gaze now drifted towards that paper.
"Did you run into Mom today?"
"Yeah, just when I got home from school."
"She was really alluring, wasn\'t she?"
"Well, yeah, I guess." I returned an awkward answer.
Even if she has become my mother now, I\'m not exactly sure how to praise her in front of my non-blood-related step-sister, which was her daughter. Because of this, Ayase-san gave me a long stare, only to let out a snicker. Then, she spoke up like she was going to tell me a ghost story.
"But, she\'s a high school graduate."
"Oh really?"
The ordinary contents took me by surprise a bit, which led me to give back a dry response. Ayase-san gave me a suspicious glance.
"You don\'t think of anything about that?"
"…I don\'t?"
"High school graduate, beauty, nightlife business, what if you had all these three conditions aligned?"
"Then I\'d think of her as a high school graduate, a beauty, and someone who works in nightlife business?"
I don\'t really get what she\'s asking from me. Of course, I have my own ideas when hearing these singular words, but nothing special comes to mind when you take them together.
"Hmmm, Asamura-kun, your thinking is pretty flat." Ayase-san said, and carried some more vegetables to her mouth.
I wonder why I can see a glimmer of happiness mixed in with her indifferent expression. Maybe she\'s making fun of this sad virgin in front of her. I\'m not too familiar with a girl\'s heart to fully deny that.
"I think that kind of stance is pretty amazing."
"I really appreciate your kindness towards virgins."
Since she speaks her thoughts in honesty, I don\'t need to be a mentalist to figure out her own stance, and it allows for easier communication.
For a moment, Ayase-san\'s expression in her eyes turned gloomy. Maybe the word virgin was taking it one step too far. However, the next words coming from her mouth were more serious than I anticipated.
"I know of comments that aren\'t as flat as that. As a high school graduate, a beauty, and worker in the nightlife business, she\'s basically dumb in the head, and uses her looks as a weapon, earning money the illicit way—Something along those lines. I\'ve seen Mom being treated and resented like that many times."
"Nonsense, alright."
Of course, there\'s a trend of comparing academic history and looks. However, there\'s no guarantee that this tells of a single person\'s true self and value. Even if the macro point of view might be correct, you should be able to find many differences once you dive deeper into the micro territory. Just because people looking like that are often like this, it\'s not a valuable way to approach a single individual. Those folks who can\'t even understand that are often best ignored, since they are the ones who offer no value whatsoever.
—That\'s what it said in a book I borrowed from Yomiuri-senpai. The influence of books is quite terrific. Even some high school brat like me can speak as if I had another person\'s life experience on my shoulders and in my head.
Hearing these words from me, Ayase-san\'s face flushed slightly red, and she showed a deeply appreciative gaze.
"Right, it\'s nonsense."
"Y-Yeah."
"Not to mention that comments and views like them are unfair. It\'s a logical development not letting you escape from."
"For example?"
"When you\'re clever, but you\'re not attractive, you get labeled as a creepy but educated woman. If you\'re not clever, but very attractive, you\'ll be treated as a pillow business woman who used her body to reach her current position. They all just assume you used your body to get where you are, and when you work all on your own, you get ridiculed and receive pity for not having a man you can rely on."
"Ahh, I see…I understand what you mean."
"Happens to boys as well, I\'m sure."
"Sure does. If you try to approach the girl you have feelings for, you get called disgusting, and blamed for sexual harassment, framed as a criminal, but if you decide to pass up on love, you\'ll get ridiculed for being a virgin."
"That sure sounds specific. Your own experience?"
"Read about it on social networks. Since I saw that first, I\'d rather not have any experience with that myself, you know? Sounds like a pain. I\'d rather not get made fun of because of that."
"I see, I kind of get it."
Listening to my thought process that could very well ridicule one of the most famous Aesop\'s Fables, The Fox and the Grapes, Ayase-san showed immediate sympathy. She probably realized that we both shared similar opinions, as her voice and expression softened a bit.
"That\'s why I\'m using this armament."
We went back to the original topic.
"Become stylish to a level nobody can complain. Treated like a beauty from outsiders, creating an alluring self. Same with academic knowledge, school, work, I\'ll become a strong person. This is the first step. All these people who keep living according to their stereotypes, I\'ll make them shut up at once, see." She spoke with her usual indifferent tone, but a strong emotion was residing in her voice.
—The exact opposite from me.
I thought of it as bothersome to have a role pressed onto me, and ran away from it. Contrary to me, Ayase-san was ready to spit in the face of the entire world. However, I felt a sense of danger coming from that stance.
"Are you fine with that? That sounds exhausting."
"If I can prove myself superior in exchange for stamina, then that\'s perfect."
Towards who? That doubt popped up inside my mind, but I didn\'t want to be seen as some curious bastard, so I swallowed it. However, I thought that the reason she held such a sense of values unbefitting of her age might have been through the influence of real father, Akiko-san\'s former husband. If that was the case, then I wanted to avoid stepping on that landmine.
Even I wouldn\'t exactly be appreciative of someone who tried to find out about my real mother, so it\'d be the logical conclusion to not do the same thing for the other person.
"Aren\'t we the same, Asamura-kun?"
"I\'m not as strong as you are, Ayase-san. I don\'t feel like fighting the views of society."
"But, at the root of it all is that you don\'t want others to have any expectations of you, as you don\'t have any of them, right?"
That is true. That\'s why, when we first met at the family restaurant, we immediately got along with our own individual stances.
"The views of others, the expectations of others, in order to be freed from them, you need the strength to live on your own."
"I see. I feel like I understand the reason why you\'re searching for well-paid work."
"Huh, you got good intuition."
"I mean, with all these hints, even someone as dense as me could figure it out." I shrugged my shoulders, and continued. "It\'s so that you can live independently, right."
"Correct…And, sorry." Ayase-san said, and closed her eyes with a bitter tone.
I won\'t ask as to why she would apologize there. For Ayase-san, who hadn\'t been working part-time until now, the reason as to why she was now suddenly searching for a well-paid and easy job right around the timing she started moving in together with us, there was no digging and questioning necessary for it to become apparent.
Not relying on others, not expecting anything from others, it was all so that she could stand on her own two feet. The reason she became this desperate was because \'strangers\' that she almost ended up relying on suddenly walked into her life, right after she decided to live on her own two feet.
"Honestly, there\'s no part-time work that would allow you to easily earn money. Can\'t say that my work at the bookstore pays well."
"I see…" Ayase-san nodded, with a regrettable expression. "Then, I guess I can only give up."
"You didn\'t look into it some more?"
"If I put my time into searching for something, I have less time to study. I came here with no intention of working part-time anyway, so I\'m here with zero clues. Of course, with the right time investment, I might find something, but the cost-performance relationship here is looking too negative to me. I\'m not that clever either, so I\'d probably have to sacrifice either grades or part-time work."
"Huh. So that\'s why you came to me, who had experience with that business, in order to balance your lack of information."
It\'s not like I can brag about my amount of friends, but I might be better off than Ayase-san, judging from what I have heard. There\'s Narasaka-san, but besides that, it seems pretty hopeless.
"I might be able to help you with that."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I got a friend at school who hears all sorts of information."
Then again, he\'s my only friend.
"My Senior at work might know something as well. I have work tomorrow, so I\'ll ask them."
"Thanks. But, it\'d be pretty unfair to have you work for me like that." Ayase-san took a sip from her miso soup, as she thought about it.
"Miso soup."
"Eh?"
"I want you to make miso soup every day."
As we sat around the dinner table, I gazed at the girl in front of me, who had been a stranger to me not long ago. Gazing at this irregular scenery, these words came out without me really thinking anything. Ayase-san kept her mouth to the bowl, and blinked at me in confusion.
"A confession of love?"
"Not at all."
I can\'t blame her, my words just now sounded like a proposal no matter how you looked at it. I mean, Akiko-san said that it\'d be hard making dinner every single day. That would mean that I had to make it myself, and since I only lived with my old man until now, I was content with food from the convenience store. That\'s why I\'m thinking… if I even have the time to prepare food when I have my studies, my part-time work, and want some time for myself as well. Also, how many years has it been since I had homemade miso soup, it\'s much more delicious than ready-bought.
All of these various thoughts mixed up inside my head, creating that one phrase I muttered in a daze.
"Well, I don\'t mind. I don\'t hate making food, and I\'d say I\'m pretty good at it. If anything, the costs compared to gathering information is practically zero."
Seems like she\'s okay with it.
"So, I\'ll search for information on how you can quickly earn money—"
"And I\'ll make food for you—"
Despite knowing that was bad manners, we both pointed at each other\'s faces, and confirmed this contract.